The Times We Had, or Why Nostalgia is a Positive Thing
We all go through different stages in our lives — good or bad, short or long, funny or sad, filled with lots of events or utterly dull and quiet. These are not the only categories one might describe, yet everyone comes across them one way or another. The way we all deal with them and move on is fundamentally different, though. I, for one, am a huge fan of nostalgia and swimming in the past in general. However, this is not something a lot of my close friends do or even approve. Who is right and who is wrong here? I doubt there is really a simple answer to that.
Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary defines nostalgia as a “wistful or excessively sentimental yearning for return to or of some past period or irrecoverable condition.” That is how a lot of people see this phenomenon. They are sure that by default this state is bad because it drags you down a dangerous path of self-pity and destruction and crying over spilt milk. Some of the people I know restrain themselves from ever getting nostalgic not to give in to this “sentimental yearning.” They are sure that the only way to move forward in life is never to look back and not even to think about the past or what has happened there. These people try so hard to forget any of their past relationships, they destroy the “evidence” such as messages, photos, songs, gifts, tickets, receipts… For them, nostalgia is this evil creature that always lurks and creeps up on you when you least expect it just to push you into the dark pit of your own thoughts and memories. While I understand where this fear might be coming from, in my opinion, the adjectives used in the afore-mentioned description sound a little bit too depressing — sentimental, irrecoverable… Is that it? Is that what this feeling is? You just sit and whine about something that is long gone and lost and can never be brought back?
That is not how I see nostalgia. To me, nostalgia is a powerful source of energy and the foundation of my future goal creation and decision-making process. I love going through old photos or messages, but that doesn’t mean I use it as a source of sadness or depression. In fact, feeding your deep fears and anxiety has nothing to do with nostalgia. Nostalgia is a creative process, not a destructive one. Imagine a nice day but you are stuck at home because of the pandemic. You are sitting in your living room, thinking about what you can do with all this free time. Naturally, your mind starts to wander back to last year when you were travelling to Eastern Europe and were in that amazing green park with your special someone… The sun was warm and pleasant. The sky was so blue and clear. There were many people around you, and everyone seemed happy and relaxed. Those days are long gone now. Open your eyes, and you are home on your couch. But does this realization have to be brutal or saddening? Think about those days once again, go find those photos, feel those emotions again — and instead of boredom, sadness or annoyance, feel this power to make something happen now, when you don’t have that much going on around you, but within! Go paint a picture about that day, write an essay, call a person you were with, plan your next trip together, regardless of when it’s going to be… This is how you can turn those first drops of fear into something amazing and positive.
Nostalgia should always be used to push yourself forward. When I think about certain days in the past when I was surrounded by certain people who I lost touch with, I don’t cry about it; I smile instead. We had our share of amazing moments. We had our inside jokes, our lunches together, that coffee-to-go from that tiny place in the center of the city we both used to live in. I let myself float in that feeling a little bit. Once again. Just once more. And a little bit further. And it doesn’t need to make me feel lost or abandoned. I know I WAS happy then. So why can’t I be happy now, just reminiscing about those days?
Nostalgia is not an enemy if you treat it right. It can be your greatest companion — you just need to let it in.
